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Christmas

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Why is always Yours or Mine Decision

Why is always yours or my decision. As I sit here awake, try to figure out why my 20 year old Granddaughter is lying in a casket and why I feel so hurt and alone and WHY this had to happen, I fully realize it was MINE and only MINE. I started this whole F ing drama. I started the whole thing by MY decision to marry my sons' father. It was MY decision to move to this Hell hole of a town where MY children would grow up and marry and have or not choose to have children.
Their father went along with me because he loved me and thought I knew something. When in fact, I knew and know nothing.
In 1965, he had a wife with a child on the way and wanted to take care of them rather than go to Korea. He wanted to take care of them and didn't think that would happen if he left them alone. So, his wife made the decision. This was a beautiful town and there were lots of jobs, even if it was a hell hole, dark and dreary and full of tragedies every where. Tragedies that were hidden from everyday sight.
If I had not chosen to move here, my son would not have met nor married my granddaughter's mother and my granddaughter would never been born here and would not have died here 20 years later. Nobody to blame but myself for as usual my STUPID decisions. End of story Kori! Oh my God how I love you!

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